The funniest things happen when you slow down, don't they?
As a practitioner, I am always surprised by the power of taking my own advice. I shouldn’t be. I know that these things work, which is why I recommend them to all of you nice people on the regular. I guess it’s like the shaman version of the detective’s curse: the answer I was looking for was in front of me the whole time. It’s so overt it’s covert.
I’m working on it.
The season of fatigue
As I headed into the Solstice, I was feeling VERY run down. And it was 100% my fault. As a sacral chakra-dominant practitioner, I am a burst worker. If I get inspired or excited, I don’t have a lot of the internal mechanisms to pace myself or manage my energy. I run best on momentum, and while that can produce great things like our Spiritual Transformation Coaching Program in three days (true story), or our TOTEM Tarot Deck, I tend to not realize just how run down I am until it’s too late.
And when that happens, it’s nothing but diminishing returns. When my metaphorical gas tank hits empty, I notice a dramatic drop in productivity, creativity, and effectiveness. So, instead of trying to revise my inherent nature or core drives (as these produce positive, unique things), I just pull the ripcord and STOP everything.
I started an intensive digital detox on December 19th, focusing my time on really slowing down and enabling relaxation deep into my energetic and metaphysical facia. The come down was hard, harder than I thought it would be, and I realized that I have probably not truly relaxed my nervous system for a few years. Sure, I meditate. I take care of myself. But I don’t really let myself stop for multiple days at a time. So, if you take nothing else from this email, take this: the last two years have been way harder on our nervous systems that we may think, and the tools we typically rely on may have helped us get through…but they didn’t heal the deeper damage.
On the Solstice, I felt ready for an even deeper reset, realizing that I would have a very difficult 2022 if I didn’t lean into this process. To aid in this effort, I ingested a bit of “plant medicine”. With the assistance of my sober husband, I sat in the sunlight in the backyard and worked to access what Odin refers to as the “world tree”: our neural network rooted in the intelligence of all biological life.
I had high expectations. Sure, I would “relax”, but I also assumed this would be a hi-fi version of a shamanic journey or one of my other meditation sessions. You know, because even in my pursuit of deep relaxation my work-addicted brain is seeking ways to be productive, leap frog, and get shit done.
(I know. I’m working on it.)
I took the plant medicine. I set intentions. I had snacks. It was a beautiful day here in Austin, and I was ready to rock.
Did the plant medicine work? Yes it did. Sitting in the sunlight, the tree branches started to meet the sky in what looked like an intricate series of stained glass windows, transforming the banal nature of our backyard into a prismatic, rainbow cathedral dome. The trees pulsed and opened their multiple eyes. Strong sensations ripped through my physical body.
And then, I got bored.
Hear me out: the aftereffects of the plant medicine have been incredible. In the days to follow, I felt incredibly reinvigorated. My cognitive capabilities were noticeably improved, particularly with regard to concentrating on a single task. I have been sleeping more deeply and waking refreshed. I have not wanted to drink much wine at dinner time. It’s been great.
Learning through contrast
But the literal, psychedelic, real-time experience was not what I expected. And I think there’s a big reason why: my daily experiences as a psychic are so much more powerful and meaningful and psychedelic than I had ever realized. If anything, the real-time experience of the plant medicine felt like I had my wings clipped: I felt limited in my ability to “move” neurologically, and I was keenly aware of the absence- not presence- of my spirit guides in this particular, drug-induced dimensional space.
And I heard myself make a remark to my husband: “I felt so much more euphoric and connected to nature and my spirit guides when I took the Orange Glow flower essence that first day.”
Now, take that in for a second. A flower essence, in this case made of nasturtium, Everclear and filtered water, had given me a more expansive experience of the earth grid and euphoria of being present, on this planet, in a body, than a time-tested "fungus among us".
TOTEM Flower Essences
And that’s when it hit me: I had just started taking some of the other flower essences in the last week prior to this event, and I realized I had been dismissing their undeniable impact. Within a few days of taking the Newly Minted flower essence, designed to harness abundance energy around money and havingness, my corporate freelance clients all reached out asking if they could pay me in advance for planned work. I mean, that's kind of literal....and fast. Why hadn’t I made this connection before? I started to go, flower essence by flower essence, realizing that I made a truly effective product that was enhancing my life in tangible, measurable ways…without even realizing it.
This was the great gift of my plant medicine experience: the realization that what I do is powerful witchcraft.
Sure, I had thought the flower essences worked. I got great feedback from the clients included in the beta test of the products. But I hadn’t really understood their power until I learned through experiential contrast.
I have taken commercial flower essences and recommended them to clients for years, particularly Pink Yarrow, which is crucial for separating your energy body from the energy body of others. It’s an easy hack to tune your energy body, maximizing potential and mitigating challenges. But when I kicked off the TOTEM Flower Essence project, I was honestly just looking for an excuse to get outside, work in the dirt, and get busy with a project that was rooted in the here and now- i.e. making something. I didn’t care if they made any money.
I just needed a return to something analogue, something fun, and something real.
Kicking it old school
Our Flower Essence project has turned into so much more, and I think I have a few ideas as to why. First, because I’m making these with the help of my chef husband, at home, we had to kick it old school. I don’t have a factory or any machines, so I instead hand harvest blooms over periods of weeks, carefully washing them and placing them into jars with grain alcohol to steep. They sit in place of privilege within our own home for months, extracting the terpenes and alchemical essences within the plant matter over a long duration.
And, before all of that magic takes place, I grow all of the flowers from organic seed with organic soil. I sit with the plants and meditate on their energy, noticing how the pollinators are obsessed with the mint flowers and how the nasturtium have an aura to them. I never thought of this as energetic work with the plants, but it is- I’m a shaman that sits with and hangs out with and talks to the damn plants that go into these essences.
2022 Flower Essences
So, even though it’s analogue and manual and more time consuming than upgrading our system to a vapor distiller or other, similar process, I’m sticking with the old world way of making flower essences in 2022. Our beta test revealed so much, and I don’t want to fix something that isn’t broken.
After all, how much of the magic in our world has been lost in the pursuit of efficiency?
That said, being in Texas does open up a world of additional possibilities for this program: a longer growing season, a big back and front (and side) yard, and a different climate that supports new and unusual flowers with concentrated properties and energies.
Just a few of the new “flavors” we’re planting include: Black Mirror (made of black Iris), Crown of Stars (made with Tuberose), and Fairy Dust (made of Fairy Duster), to name just a few of the DOZENS of essences we’ve mapped out for the New Year.
Flower Essence Consultations
So, we’re going big, and we’ve figured out an optimal way to get these flower essences into your hands: our TOTEM Flower Essence Consultation. In this session, we assess your energetic and spiritual needs, identifying handmade TOTEM Flower Essences to address your challenges and enhance your strengths and opportunities. Do you want something to support more intensive psychic work? To open your heart chakra? To help you heal from inherited and lived trauma? We zero in on these goals and align them with available essences.
The cost of this session includes two TOTEM flower essences- a $40 value each- as well as the shipping and handling to send these energetic remedies right to your door, along with instructions for your ongoing use and insights for your ongoing reference. Clients can opt to purchase additional essences at a $40 fee each based on our consultation.
EMAIL me anytime to learn more or schedule this session and get your very own little magic goodies.
I am so excited about this new offering, and honestly- I’m really looking forward to taking all of these new essences myself. Hell, at the rate our Newly Minted flower essence is going, I might have to Scrooge McDuck this shit and fit out a swimming pool in which to dive into my cash money.
I’m kidding. Sort of.
This experience with our TOTEM Flower Essences has been a crucial reminder of just how powerful these witchy tools can be. Sure, common sense, pragmatism and hard work are always going to matter, but the yin side of things can make a huge difference, too. When we get into “work mode”, buckle down and effort to power through, we can forget about the magical side of things and leave real opportunities on the table without even realizing it.
TOTEM’s 2022 plan is much more yin, enabling flow and discovery and spontaneous moments of magic. The first run of our Spiritual Transformation Coaching is sold out, and we have one spot remaining for our second run kicking off in March. The Coaching Program opens up in June with three more available spots, so if you’re interested at all please reach out ASAP as I expect this program to continue to book out well in advance.
And, to that end, you may find that availability for 1:1 sessions is a bit different, too. Given the in-depth nature of the Coaching Program and the other projects we are working on, I’m booking 1:1 client sessions (for Tarot Readings, Mediumship, Energy Work and Channeling) out about a month in advance. I apologize for any delays, but I really want to dig into the deeper waters with interested clients, harnessing the transformative power of these witchy tools for others... while learning and experiencing it myself along the way.
Enter to win!
And please don’t forget! If you’ve purchased our TOTEM Tarot Deck and want to enter to win our raffle for a free remote TOTEM Energy Session, please write a review on Amazon HERE and shoot me an email HERE before EOD 12/31/21.
A New Year reflection
The more advanced and high-tech our world becomes, the more neurotic we become. If you've watched the Social Dilemma or read The Madness of Crowds, you know that social media and our increasingly disconnected and tech-based world is making us anxious, depressed, and lonely.
Find ways to reconnect with what's real. Go outside and touch grass. Get your hands in the dirt. Make something and give it to others. Connect offline. Get a bit more analogue. And watch as the magic happens.